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54 Responses to “Why You Shouldn’t Say “I’m So Proud of You””

Practice being humble and modest. The world is a huge and absolutely amazing place, and you are just one tiny part of it. Don't think that you somehow deserve more than other people because you are "you.

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Don't let your past dictate your future. Okay, so maybe all of your friends, coworkers, and neighbors think of you as the most selfish person in the world. You may be finding it difficult to break out of that pattern or to have other people view you as something other than what they expected you to be. Well, stop thinking that way and learn to move forward and to become a new person. Sure, other people who know you may be surprised that you're being selfless or that you've stopped obsessing over yourself; this gives you all the more reason to continue to be an unselfish person.

Other people may question your motives when you try to do something selfless. This should encourage you to be less selfish even more often. Don't give in and think that you were born selfish and that you won't be able to change. Ask yourself about what you want vs. Selfish people are always repeating that mantra, "I want, I want, I want…" thinking that everything in the world should be theirs and that they should deserve every little thing that they dream about. Stop and ask yourself whether you really needed those five sweaters, or whether you really needed to choose the movie or restaurant when you were hanging out with your partner.

If you dig deep enough, you'll find that most of the things that you thought were absolutely necessary were actually very easy to live without. It will feel good to simplify your life and to give up some of the things you thought you needed. If you only get one new sweater instead of five, you'll only have to worry about losing one sweater. This is a great skill when you're learning to compromise. You may be more willing to concede to other people if you realize that the thing you really wanted is more like that thing that you'd just really like to have one day.

Keep in mind that selfishness can also manifest as not wanting to give up your time. Some people are generous with their possessions, but not with their time. Enjoy giving the spotlight to others. Selfish people cringe when someone else goes in the spotlight because they always want it for themselves.

Well, if you want to stop being selfish, then you have to not only give up the spotlight, but you have to enjoy letting other people take it. Stop trying to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral and let other brides have their time in the spotlight. Be proud of other people for achieving things instead of wishing it was you. Let go of feelings of jealousy or bitterness and relish in the success of others. If you're always wishing to be the one who is the most successful, then ask yourself if you're missing something in your life that keeps you from being content with what you're achieving.

Take in the criticism. People who are selfish are always thinking that their way of living life is best and that anyone who tries to give them feedback is just trying to do them harm or has ulterior motives. Sure, you can't believe all of the criticism that comes your way, but if you focus enough, you might see that a lot of people are telling you the same thing. You'd like to know how you can improve as a person and change your ways, right? If you think you're perfect and have nothing to work on, then you wouldn't come to this page, would you? You can even work on asking for feedback when you're struggling instead of just accepting it when it comes your way.

That takes strength of character. Make a gratitude list. Make a habit of writing down all of the things you're grateful for every Sunday or at least once a week. Take the time to think of each and every individual thing that makes your life really great, and don't spend all your time focusing on the things you don't have, or the things you wish you had, or all of the "If only" chants that can ruin your day and your life.

I am an Arrogant, Selfish Liar. You should be one too.

Think of things that are going well for you, from your health to your plethora of friends, and feel happy about what you've got. If you want to stop being selfish, you have to feel like you already have enough amazing things in your life.

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  • Any additional joys or gifts should come as a bonus. Time is also a factor. Make sure to acknowledge the time you have had to yourself, and be willing to help others with the extra time that you have. Being unwilling to give up some of your time will eventually result in you not having any friends if you keep it up. Do favors for your friends just because. Doing a favor for your friends just so they will do you a favor is selfish.

    Doing a favor for your friends just because they need the help, or because it'll feel good to help someone else, is the right way to go about it. If you want to stop being selfish, then look for opportunities to help your friends, just because they need the help, not for any ulterior motives. You don't want to be that person who has a reputation of helping people only when he needs something from them; that's just as bad as not helping at all.

    Take the time to listen to your friends and to observe them in action. They may be in need of a favor but may be too embarrassed to ask for help with it. Take the time to really listen.

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    Selfish people are notoriously bad listeners. This is because they are too busy talking about their own struggles, their own problems, and their own setbacks to take the time to listen to what their friends are saying. If you're the kind of person who picks up the phone, talks at someone for half an hour, and then says goodbye, then you're not taking the time to listen to what other people are telling you. Selfish people are more focused on themselves than on other people, which is why they don't really take the time to listen to other people.

    Show an interest in people. Listening to people is a great way to show interest in them. Another thing you can do is to ask people questions, from their opinions on the local news to their experiences as children. You don't have to interrogate them to show a casual interest in them as human beings, and to let them see that you really do care what they think about or what they're struggling with. When people talk, don't just nod and wait your turn to talk, but slow down and ask them questions if they're talking about something that they feel passionate about.

    You can show an interest in people without overwhelming them. Volunteer your time. Volunteering can open up your world and make you see that there are so many people out there who are so much less fortunate than you are. You may think that you don't have all the things you need until you spend time in a soup kitchen or teach adults how to read. Though you shouldn't volunteer just to make yourself feel good, you should give your time to make meaningful connections with other people and to see the world outside yourself.

    You may find that you actually are addicted to the feeling of helping others. Soon you'll stop thinking about all the things you don't have because you'll be wondering when you can commit to other people. Get a pet. Though you shouldn't get a pet if you're the kind of person who has killed your last ten goldfish, having a pet will make you feel like there is someone who is depending on you for survival, and that you have the power to help another creature.

    Go to a shelter and pick out a cute kitty or puppy and make it your best buddy. You'll see that as you plan to walk your dog, feed your pet, or just spend some quality cuddling time with the new addition to your home, that you don't have as much time for all of those selfish thoughts.

    Dogs require a lot of responsibility. Taking on responsibilities -- especially in the name of serving others -- will definitely help you stop being selfish. Help people you know during their times of need. When your friends, family, or even your neighbors are struggling, you should be there for them. Maybe your co-worker has had a death in the family, or your neighbor has been sick for months; take the time to make them a home-cooked meal, call them, or give them a card and ask how you can help.

    People may be reluctant to say that they need help even if they obviously do. It's up to you to figure out when you can really help without being intrusive. Learn to share. Selfish people have hated sharing from the moment they were given their first rubber ducky. So, it's time to get that selfish gene out of your system.

    Learn to share your stuff, whether you let your friend have half of your sandwich, or you let your friend raid your wardrobe to find something perfect to wear for a first date.

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    Pick something that you love so much that you couldn't possibly imagine sharing it, and then offer it to your friend. Giving up your possessions like that can be scary at first, but it'll get you on the road to being less selfish. Food is a big one.

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    Selfish people hate to share food. Though you should have enough for yourself, ask yourself if you really need that extra cookie or five, or if it's okay to offer them to your friends or roommates. Join a team. Being part of a team is a great way to become less selfish, whether you're on a project for work, part of your school's debate team, or a member of a bowling league in your community. Just being part of a group and learning to balance the needs of each individual member with the needs of the whole group can help you realize how important it is to give up some of your selfishness.

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    Being a leader of this team can help you become even less selfish. You'll see that the needs of any group can be more important than the needs of any individual, and that some compromise is inevitable for making people happy. Stop talking about yourself. Selfish people go on and on and on about their needs, their struggles, and their desires. The next time you have a conversation with a friend, do a personal recap afterwards and see what percentage you spent talking all about you, you, you. If you feel like everything you said was about yourself instead of the world around you and that your friend hardly got a word in edgewise, then it's time to turn that behavior around.

    It's okay to ask for advice, talk about your day, and mention your wants within a reasonable realm, but it's not okay if you're known to be the person who can't see past herself in any social situation. For one thing, if you have a reputation for only talking about yourself, people will get the message and won't want to hang out with you. Give a small gift. So I give respect for who they are at that instance — a friend, a co-worker, a manager, a teammate.

    Why You Shouldn’t Say “I’m So Proud of You”

    Being Selfish. I take what I want. There is a difference between the brain and the heart. The brain, for instance, dictates something as correct only if all possibilities are right like an AND operation. I always listen to my heart, because it is selfish.

    Let me rephrase it. Become a Liar. I was thought that honesty is the best policy. Not always. I always ask myself. Will the truth make the solution easier or not? Remove Perspectives. We all have our own opinion on people, correct? I have such opinions too. But that opinion comes from me. Not from someone else.

    Only if I get close to someone, I can know who they really are.

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    Such evaluations are always incorrect. So, when I talk to someone, I remove their caste, race, gender, and status from my head and listen to them. Their voices definitely sound better and clear to me. These are just my opinions. A one on one 30 minute clarity call with Shona at the completion of the course.

    I will walk with you every step of the way. I will see you. I will help you turn your fears into triumph, your doubt into confidence, and your shame into a vibrant, powerful story of strength. I will believe in you in the moments you doubt yourself. I promise you that investing into yourself is the most valuable investment you will ever make.

    This is the home for action taking badassery, you are only moments away so let's make it happen babe The course HumanAF woke me up to the fact that I was plodding along with life sticking with things I didn't love anymore simply coz I was stuck being defined by everyone else's expectations and labels. Shona helped me lift those labels, get really honest about what I need and acknowledge how important it is to look after ME too.

    Shona awoke a spark inside me that had been suffocating for a long time.



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