Porn causes horrendous damage to people and to relationships. It distorts sex, creating completely unrealistic expectations and images. It replaces authentic intimacy with perceived intimacy that really is anything but intimate. It makes it extremely difficult, if not impossible, for the viewer to then connect authentically with their spouse. It often uses and preys upon people who are already marginalized. It desensitizes perception of seriously dangerous behaviors of coercion, abuse and bondage.
It destroys trust and causes division and confusion between a husband and a wife. However, just because some sexual acts are depicted in pornography does not automatically make them off limits in marriage. Context means everything. For example, many Christians consider oral sex to be acceptable and good within the exclusivity of a sexual relationship between a husband and wife.
And a wife seductively undressing in front of her husband — or wearing a sexy negligee — also are experiences that within the covenant relationship of marriage bring variety and sensual stimulation to the marriage bed. And certainly there are many sexual positions besides missionary position that are not prohibited in marriage. Wife on top, for example, is a fabulously wonderful position.
Because she and her husband could be missing out on sexual intimacy that is scrumptiously delightful and passionate and pleasurable — all because she mistakenly thought all things that look like sexual variety are by their very nature also pornographic. This misses the mark, though, when what a couple truly needs is to genuinely dig into those struggles. God is faithful to give us solid guidelines on what is acceptable in the marriage bed.
- Making The Most Of Mentoring (Just In Time Book Series);
- My Boyfriend Wants Me To Act Like a Porn Star?
- Cold Red Blood (Stuart Phillips Crime Book 1);
God, after all, is the mastermind behind sex, so He wants you to enjoy it immensely. And if you and your husband are experiencing deep-rooted struggles in your sexual relationship, start asking yourselves what it will take for the two of you to look at those struggles and heal those painful places.
My Life As A Porn Star Husband
That is a worthy endeavor for sure. Copyright , Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Enter your best email and then click the button below to get instant access to our most popular guide. Plus, you will receive our newsletter with additional tips to improve the intimacy in your marriage!
Please click the button only once. It may take up to a minute to process. Porn is sex in front of a camera. What ought to be going on in the marriage bed is lovemaking. Making love brings into play the emotions and the caring, concern and respect for the spouse. And, that is an important distinction. As you point out Julie, not all acts that are performed in porn are bad or tainted if they occur within a loving marriage. Au contraire! Context is key. Husbands talk with your wife. Be patient with her. Sexual challenges can be worked through successfully over time.
Work on satisfying her needs as well. I really believe that God created our sexuality the way He did so that the lovemaking within the loving marriage would be and could be frequent, mutually pleasurable and passionate. Pingback: a needless source of conflict in a loving marriage larrysmusings.
OK, I get the negative connotations that come along with porn.
Be enthusiastic Sex is a team sport, not something that is simply to be done to the woman. Be verbal, be vocal, let your husband know what is working. Enthusiasm also encompasses appearance. Yeah, the lingerie will be on the floor in 5 minutes. So what — wear it anyway!! Duh, right? Yet when the husbands try to introduce something new, they are shut down.
So either bring your own creativity to the table, or encourage your husband to bring his — and be receptive to his suggestions.
8 Tips For Watching Porn With Your Partner
If they do, they do so very subtly so they have plausible deniability. One of the big draws of porn for guys is that there is no doubt as to what the women want. Your husband will thank you.
- The One, Undeniable Thing That Men Want In Bed and How to Give It to Them.
- Unleashing Her Inner Porn Star!
- Main Navigation;
It is pure fantasy, not reality. Good, no great sex is hard work and takes a lot of time. They work at it like anything worth having in life. I wish Christian Marriages would use this to promote purity more often. The resources available are endless, especially with technology today. No one should have an excuse for being a lazy lover. Wow, I have never heard that phrase before! But it certainly would make many women cringe. The women in pornographic media are so sexy to some men because they WANT sex. Looking at these images makes men feel desirable, and a sexy wife is one who desires her husband desperately, no matter what act she is performing or how she is dressed or how much she weighs, etc.
I agree that a better approach is to look at inhibitions, and specifically your ideas of sex. Do you think your husband feels like you desire him sexually? In our marriage here is where the problem lies…. Now, it takes a lot for me now due to age and surgeries that have caused a loss of sensation. I require more and new forms of stimulation nothing weird. I would like to talk outside the bedroom in a comfortable manner. My wife wants to talk during intimate moments.
That scares me….
What Do I Do When He Wants Me To Act Like a Porn Star - Spouses - vamocicywuzu.ml
The fact is that lack of communication is the biggest obstacle to a couples sexual fulfillment. After all, we avoid those topics that cause us shame we learned as children. In essence, it is the lb gorilla in the bedroom. Julie, thank you for this website and the informative discussion it provides. I pray it helps young married couples in their journeys. I have to accept that. I hope that is the lesson others can learn from. Attitude IS everything! Any man will tell you that a woman who is engaged in sex is automatically more attractive than the hottest woman who is not.
You just need to desire your husband, make it obvious, spontaneous, exciting and aggressive while being at least open to new ideas in the bedroom and you will be shocked at what your husband will be willing to do for you. My wife came home the other day with a bottle of grapeseed oil. She even texted a picture of it to me while I was at work as a teaser. Now, keep in mind I plan on spoiling her with that oil. The fact that she bought it after I shared a link that I got from this very site showed me how engaged she can be.
You will both be pleased! Rico and Bonnie MIke good points. Most men I think are attracted to porn because they see women that are in to sex. Now they know this is not real but it is the fantasy of a woman that want sex. Now we need to be honest that a lot of wives think if they show up and get naked they have done there part in the making love process. That been said a good amount of husband do try to romance there wives. That phrase is definitely off — putting for sure.
However, the concept makes sense as others have described. Most men have images and videos burned into their memories from past bad decisions, porn use, or even maybe past marriages that they would love to forget. The only way to make them less prone to recall is to replace them with wonderful, live, and loving experiences with our wives. This post has stirred alot of thinking and emotions in me. Might break my thoughts up into a couple of comments. As one who struggled with porn and strip joints, etc.
The trouble with that is that then temptations increase for me- because one of the triggers for sexual acting out, is feelings of shame. Here are some possible ways to say it better, that might be less offensive to women, but still get the idea across. Be the hot, sexy wife of his dreams. Wow your man with your hotness. I know it would for me. I want to be haunted by images of my wife showing me how much she values me and desires my happiness. No woman wants to be asked to act like a character off a movie screen that is acting out sexual acts to visually pleasure men.
As a wife that has been married for more than 25 years, I have to sadly admit that I am just plain bored when it comes to my intimate life. And before I get condemned for my statement let me just say that my husband is a very unselfish lover to whom I come first. We also share the same belief that intimacy is for both of us equally, with variety thrown in to keep things interesting. But honestly eventually whatever you do over and over will become same old, same old no matter how creative you are. After reading many blogs over the past year where men are complaining about the lack of passion in their MB, I just wonder if there are other wives sharing what I feel, not dislike of sex but just boredom from same predictable encounters that we have every week.
Just saying. I discussed this topic with my wife. Now, who wants to start a crockpot, wait for it to get ready, and then remove the lid only to find it is empty inside? Essentially, if you want your man to put the effort into getting you to the point where you want to have sex, you had at least make it worth the effort. And that is just one reason why a large number of men would rather masturbate while looking at porn than take a chance on an empty crockpot.
After a while, you just realze that it is what it is! So sad. God never intended it to be this way. But I know he will wipe away all the tears when we get home. Big D, not sure if your reply was directed to me or if it was meant to be just in general, but if it was, yep I get you metaphor about the microwave and crockpot.
Never allow a man to penetrate your anus and then remove his penis and penetrate you vaginally. This can cause all sorts of nasty infections. The best way to have anal sex is with a condom, just as you would with regular sex. If, however, you decide that you cannot, will not, and may never try some of these porn acts in bed, make sure to talk to your partner about your feelings. Wait until you have the privacy to have a deep discussion about your feelings.
If your man truly loves and respects you, he will go along with your wishes. With a little compromise, you should be able to maintain good communication and enjoy a healthy sex life together. As a guy another thing to keep in mind is if he ask and you say no that is fine but it would not hurt to let him know you do not think he is a perv or creep for asking. Us guys have a hard time opening up to you. Knowing we could be honest with you with out fear of what you would think if we were to really tell you our fantasies wouls help keep the lines of communication open.
Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sign in. Log into your account. Forgot your password? Password recovery. Recover your password.
Related How to Get Your Wife to Act Like a Porn Star
Copyright 2019 - All Right Reserved